I am surrounded by numerous unreal fake people. People who packaged themselves to look good yet they are rotten deep inside. People who are educated yet possess the lowest class of moral. People who pretend to be friends yet all they wanted are benefits from you. Worst are those who gossip endlessly – they just make you feel negative in life!

There is something terribly wrong with our education. I kept seeing such low-graded human beings everywhere I go. These are people who need to find an scheming excuse to live another day. These are people who need to make someone else look so bad so they feel better about themselves. And there are many people who just can’t stop finding faults. Worst of the kinds – people who are so damn well-versed with laws and policies – they can use their bible to excuse them from their wrongdoings. 

 

What is wrong with these people? There is something wrong about the society that I am living in!

Haaa.. this is not my 1st wake-up call about the "REAL WORLD". What puzzled me is why our society allows us to glorify such indecent souls and many times, we have to silently endured their existence? Where are the good days of old codes of conducts?

The biggest irony is – I found people who are working in the "less glamorised" trades more upright and honest about themselves. And many of them don’t even have a degree!

Last week, I joined a friend drinking in China. It was a horrible pub – I saw drunk men in suits grabbing the poor waitresses and molesting them. One of them even put his hands under a waitress’s blouse – the pub managers just stood there and looked! (I dare these fuckers to do that in Singapore!) I chatted with the waitress who served our table – why would she want to work in such environment for that little money?

She said "I know people in our trade don’t get much respect. But it is a decent job for me to pay off debts?"

"No, that is not what I meant… I was saying you can always find another job. It is not worth the mental torture with such small petty tips." I told her.

"I know I have other options. I am just too impatient to clear the funeral debts back home. My dad and grandfather passed away 6 months ago and things changed overnight. My mother is old and sick. I have to come out here to work so she need not to work so hard to pay off the debt." she said.

"How much is the debt?" I asked.

 

"We are in debt of RMB5000." she said. "This job is good. With good tips, I can make about RMB2,000 a month here. Back home, I can only make RMB800 as a factory girl. But don’t worry for me, I should be going home soon with the money… In fact, I am leaving end of April. I want to go home and reunite with my mum and younger brother."

From her eyes, I can sensed that she missed home a lot. She is only 18! How thoughtful and mature she is. She didn’t complain much about her poor life. In fact, she put on the bravest and brightest smile that night. Life is hard for her and her family, yet she is so positive and honest. She has one of the toughest job here, yet she took it well and good. No complain, no gossip – just being hardworking and focused on her task.

When we later chatted about her "trip home", she told me it will take her more than 30 hours to go home as she is taking interstates train. I asked her why don’t she just take a 2-hour flight.

"My money is hard-earned cash. I have lots of free time. I am not rushing anywhere. I can saved RMB500-700 taking train!" She explained.

I was very touched by her words. Before I leave the pub, I passed her RMB500 at the door. To my surprise, she returned me the money.

"Thanks for being such a nice customer. But I do not need your money." she said.

"No…those are the tips for your service tonight, girl." I insisted.

"Sir, please don’t do this. You gave me RMB500 because of the story I told you. I am really fine. You have already gave me a RMB100 tip just now."

"Look, just say it is a treat from me. Please accept it." I insisted again.

She stood there…shaking her head, smiling shyly at me and walked away. No, she didn’t take the money. I kept it in my wallet. I left the pub.

It is time like this when I do feel there is hope in our rotting society. In this small pub, nowhere in Guangzhou, I met a normal girl with that basic sense of grace.

Back to my city life, glamour-job – with beautiful educated people. Sadly, nothing comes close here.

Back at the train station, I overheard a conversation. A boyfriend was shopping for a necklace for his girlfriend.

"Yes, these crystals & silvers are cheap and beautiful. But they are not real. They will turn yellow and rust easily. I know I cannot afford  many real ones but I will still wait for the day when I can buy just one. At least till then, I know that one is real and I get to keep it for a long long time. I don’t need so many fake beautiful things. I only need one real thing to keep forever.." the girl said to her boyfriend.

So simple, so true. This applies on people and relationship.

Trust me, I have no patience and kind words for the masked world. Cos’ I shall reserve my true heart for those who are in need out there.

Recently, I found about the death of 2 of my old friends. One was a primary school friend and the other a business associate. Both died young – and lost their fight against cancers. Over the last 3 years, I have heard and seen so many young friends dying, departing suddenly. I just can’t help but accepted the cruel fate of life.

 

All the time, I miss my family and friends a lot. I just cannot imagine not be able to hear their voice or see them again. No matter how much I hate it, there will be another time when some one I love had to leave me for good. My family and friends can only accompany me this much. Death can take a man away physically.. but it cannot erase the memory and feelings inside. And that is what causing the pain – the beautiful memory of a face or an affection.

I am always there for my family. I was there when Elkan was borned. I was there by his side when he slept. And I was there beside him when he woke up. I was there whenever my darling needed a hug. Of course, I know I won’t be there when one of us completes his/her journey. And I won’t be there to whisper goodbye to him/her. Same things about our parents, we can never be there with them throughout their entire lifetime.. but only lovingly with them towards the end of their journey.

Life is such a Gift. Be it good or bad, every second of being alive is just such a great feeling. No matter how long or short one’s life is, it is always sad to end the journey and leave our loved ones behind. Our passion to live after death is so strong. Faithfully I prayed – may there be life after death.

Perhaps, I just hate to be reminded of this very basic fact. "We are borned to die" (a phase I remember from Sam). And a collection of memories can be so beautiful yet sad. Yes, I do cherish everything I have in my life. Every second of it. And every thing I do.

Perhaps it is a good time to release my mind from thinking what I want to do for my work. But more of what I want to do with my own family. (One hour OT per day is about 15 good days a year!) I can write a long list of bucket list but it is best to do it with the ones I love. Before cancer knocks on one of our doors. And before we close our eyes forever.

Death is a good reminder how short our lives are. And how fragile it can be. Let’s find the joys in our lives.

Before another good name and number is erased off my phone for good.