The Sun is Out
January 15, 2006 6 Comments
I have mentioned this to someone before. It is difficult to hate someone. Cos’ even if you decide to cut all ties and contacts with this person.. no way you can forget or remove his/her face, his/her name and the bad feelings you had in your mind. So, the next question is: Why dun I embrace the person I hated and let peace takes its place?
So, what caused the mind and heart to hate? Personal pride, ego or simply self-righteousness? Or is it a "spur-of-the-moment" heated hate? Or simple "the right thing to do"? Or just the basic betrayal, hurt and pain that this person has inflicted on you? It is a mixture, I guess.
Last night, I was shopping at Parkway Parade with my family. I suddenly asked myself… what if I bump into these hateful beings? Should I just ignore their presence and walk right thru them? Or should I fake smile and do that "hi-&-bye"? Or should I stood there and give them a hard stare? Singapore is such a small place to be in conflict with anyone. One of my Aussie’s lecturers once said "It is hard to have an affair in Singapore with someone who isn’t a contact of your friends"
I guess I can let the "hatred feeling" subside. But I cannot forgive the kind of misdeeds and damages that person has caused to my clique of friends. When everyone is keen to open up and talk heart-to-heart, an intelligent+mature+petty individual (aka "the witch") continue to go around, spreading bad gospel and inject posion tots into minds of friends. I nearly lost a good buddy (he is my best buddy since Sec 1) on Wednesday – if not without the open-ness and trust me and buddy shared. If my good buddy had choose to believe the tales and isolated the truth, he would be allowing the posion to grow. There is simply no win-win.. everyone lost in this case. We lost faith, trust, friendship and even our own happiness.
So, why not be open and settle the feud? And bury the hatchet? Easier said than done. When one is under spell, it is hard to talk sense or show him/her the real picture. In fact, to my horror, that witch has started painting untrue tales to friends of my clique as early as Oct! It was only until Jan-2006 that I realised the "evil presence". Sounded like the "lord of the ring" trilogy – except there is no true enemy in this case. The witch has imagined a enemy and started going around campaigning against an enemy that wasn’t there.
Sounded too abstract, haaa… surely, many who read this would really ponder what’s going on. That isn’t the morale of the story. Just want to re-emphasis the old granny’s saying "whenever there is misunderstanding within friends, clear it openly and face-to-face. Dun snowball to the point of no return. Dun back-stab, dun sneak around."
Why am I in such a spot? Just like USA has no interested to take part in WWII until Japan bombed Pearl habour. No, I am no USA but the poison has infected 20% of my clan against a poor friend that give me no option but to step in. I do not believe in "counter-poisioning" or "telling tales" to influence trusting minds. I believe in truth, in open talks and solving the conflict fast. Just when I tot the case is solved 2 weeks back, the witch has dragged the conflict to another good friend (but unrelated of the conflict) of the clique. When it is a problem between 2 persons, it snowballed to a community problem of 10 now. See how poison bad tales can affect everyone?
Yes, losing someone is easy. Hating someone is an enjoyment – to release anger and all frustration. But forgetting the incidence is hard. Removing that hateful face and name from your heart is even harder.
Guess the sun is out now. I find peace in forgiving and will do so. Yes. It is hard to hate someone. And I am doing my best not to do so anymore. Time is the best remedy. Let time heal.
p/s (There is no intention for this blog to be suggestive or provoking or even revisiting the unhappy incident. Just want to make this a record – a lesson to be learnt for all my friends. Let’s move on, pals. Just part of the Wahbiang history.)
12 years away from home - Singapore. Writing my stories here for my lovely mum & dad, friends and most importantly, for my wife & son back home. A self-confessed gadget freak, a spontaneous prankster on the outside and a warm loving heart inside. Enjoying a happy life with loving families, friends plus a dream job. Realising mum’s motto – “Exceed Yourself Every Day”. Always believing that “Simplicity is Beauty”.
THE WAHBIANG BLOG 
Hi Natty:Thanks for your thots.. I just pop you an email. Hope to see you more often at my blog. Ciaos!
Hi Joe, did you have a good talk with this person? I saw a message from the person asking to talk it over. Hope you guys have settled everything openly. My email is springwithnatalie@hotmail.com.
Hi Natalie:Gee.. thanks for your advise. The problem is "this witch" dun really believe in open talk in the first place. When we tried to get her to be open, she sneaked behind our back and spinned more tales. 😦 Nevertheless, it is good to have a new friend sharing advise on my blog. Care to tell me more about yourself? Email to: wahbiang@hotmail.com
Your article is interesting. I had read most of them within this evening. I guess it is really hard to hate a person. From the view of someone who handles lotsa people everyday, let me share my experiences with you. I have seen similar situations as yours. And most cases, these situations are mis-understandings and never a single person’s fault. So, I think you might have mis-understood "the witch". I am very sure if you gather together all the 10 persons mentioned in your blog to have an open chat, you will be surprised by the outcome. And all will be well again. Good luck!
Its not too hard to forget, time will take it over soon, and petty, or heart breaking incidents will jus dissolve in ur memories in ur later days.. why waste ur memrory space to remember all bad tings… get over n move on wif life 😛 u still ve good frens by u…
yr friends will b there for u! i’m pretty sure.