Elkan’s Coverlooks

Having a cute son (sorry, being thick-skinned here) isn’t a happy thing for a dad who is fat and sloppy. Too many times, I have gotten strange stares from the public eyes – almost slapping their questions right on my face – "Are you sure you are his dad?" or "Wow lucky man, your son took after his mother’s good look!"

Let me clear this once and for all. I was cute and adorable when I was three. And I am worried my little prince will grow up and become a fat pop. I was telling my colleague the other day – "I was called "Cute" for the 1st 10 years, "Handsome" for the next 10 years and "Fatty" for the last 10". That would added up to 30 years. 

 
"So, what happened to the other 2 years?" she asked.

"Fit and tan" I told her. "For that 2 years, I was in NS."
 
Enjoy the pixs. (Just hot from the oven).

I am going for "Charming" for my next 10 years.

Auntie Amy and Cousin “F4”

 

In a blink, they were here. And next, they were gone.

Auntie Amy and Cousin Chester (my 48th-49th visitors) popped by town last Monday. And it was just a short stay. By Thursday, they flew back to Xiamen (before coming back to Singapore).

Along with them, they brought Elkan’s "really expensive" food supplies (enough to last him for 2 months). They were over-weight by 13kg and fined an extra of S$200. Those killer milk tins are really heavy! I had a hard time "carrying" them home too.

Wish I could spend more time with them. Took 1.5 days off, accompanying them to the Bund, Hyatt 50th floor, Toursit Tunnel, Tai Kang Road, Yu Gardens, Huai Hai Road, Xu Jia Hui and massage at Taipan. Brainwashed by both Felicia and myself, both of them took a last-minute trip to Yiwu on Tuesday night. And silly me, I booked the worst class ride for them (3-hour train ride on wooden seats!) Must be a painful ride for them.

Singaporean just love the cold dry weather. Auntie Amy enjoyed it so much! Cousin Chester wanted to test his luck with the infamous Shanghai Cold. He wanted to show off his macho-ness by wearing one poly-tee inside. Of course he cannot tahan the cold. Still, the warmth he got from those young girls at Taipan compensated the cold spell. Man, those girls in the massage place wanted to have a piece of him. "Wow, you have nice body" commented one of them. "You are so handsome", "You look like one of the F4 boys!"…… Man, I nearly died in disgust and jealousy. I never get such treatment there.

Elkan attended some real home-schooled training – conducted by grant aunt and uncle Chester. Life must be really hard for him. Imagine having 4 mouthful of commands "No, you must ask and say ‘excuse me’ first" or "No, you cannot jump/move around!"…  I bet Elkan is happier when they left. Feli on the other help, felt helpless again – she is going to deal with super-smart Elkan alone once more.

For me, it is less fancy food. Less sight-seeing at the Bund. Less shopping at Yu Gardens. And less Auntie and Cousin’s love. 🙂

(p/s: Chester: Please drop me a link to all the photos you have taken! Thanks)

Elkan’s 3rd Birthday



When I got an oversea assignment on 17th Oct, my heart sank a little
– cos 17th Oct is Elkan’s birthday. I was looking forward to spend this special day with him but no one in my team can stand in for me for this trip. Thus, it seems that I have to miss Elkan’s birthday <again> this year. (I missed his 2nd birthday). Urghh…the feeling wasn’t that good. I mean, look, he is here in Shanghai with me now yet I have to go elsewhere on his special day. I was feeling a little disappointed with my decision to travel. (I feel so bad not being with my boy on his actual day!)

Sensing my disappointment, my wife and Kalinda planned a short trip to be with me…so that Elkan can be with his daddy on his special day. Knowing I have to transit my (Vietnam) flight at Hong Kong, they joined me in Hong Kong for a short encounter (just to spend 17th Oct with me). I am feeling so blessed and happy! Though it was such a short span of time, I was so happy to have their companionship. Most importantly, Elkan spent his birthday with his old daddy and mummy (with his favourite Auntie Kal) at Hong Kong!

I brought them to the Peak and we had dinner there. During dinner, we asked Elkan about his “birthday”… He sat there, shaking his head, telling us that he doesn’t remember his birthday and there is no cake to blow. When we told him that it was his birthday today, he just sat there, giving us his silly smile. I guessed he didn’t believe any one of us. He just enjoyed flying around… thinking Hong Kong is Singapore. At barely 3, I don’t think Elkan is going to remember much on all these. Haaa… he just enjoy running around. (We made our 1st Crystal Impressions. See Below)

Next morning at 5am, I woke up and packed my bags. It was an early flight. Elkan, my wife and Kalinda were still sleeping.  Looking at them, I am so happy… I am such a lucky and blessed man, I thought. Despite the tight timing, I still managed to spend some time with my little boy on his actual birthday. It was a little disruptive for all of us… but most importantly, I was there on his actual day. It was a short stay for them but I am sure they are happy too.

Leaving no regrets, I can fully concentrate on my work now. I know someone is taking care of my little monster.

“See you guys back in Shanghai on Friday”, I whispered.Closing the door, I made my way to Vietnam.

p/s (Thanks Auntie Amy for your greetings. Thanks Meijie, Kalinda, Joanne, Juliana & Tracy for his 2nd Cars! He loves it! Except he kept asking “again???”..)

Little Terror is Back!


(Photo: Taken outside the bedroom window at my apartment)

Little "Terror" is back! And he got himself a painful mischief within the first 60 minutes of his arrival. For some freaking coincident, it was a "deja vu" like last Dec. Elkan arrived at Francis’ house right from the airport, fell at the stairs and cut his lips. Same style but different house (Francis moved house). Guess this is the "mark of his arrival" – a cut bruised swollen lips. It was hell for him. Yes, bloody hell.

Guess it must be the "Curse of Franics’ Stairs". Got to avoid a number 3.

Fulfilling a Promise

   

Today, I finally find the time and visited my granny’s tomb – after 8 long years. Wanted to bring Feli and Elkan along but they weren’t available. Really want to fulfill that small promise which I made more than 15 years ago.

When I entered Bright Hill Temple, I was feeling very excited. Holding the pack of fries in my hand, I searched around for her tomb. That temple has changed so much since the last time I was there (28th Nov 1999 – the day my granny was cremantled). There are a lot of new buildings now and the place is more beautiful and cleaner.

My granny sits on the 5th Floor, Tomb 0998 (nice number I thought). Beside her is her beloved husband, my grandpa, sitting on 0999 Tomb. And Tomb 1000 is my great grandma. I am surprised to see all 3 of them together. They were placed seperately previously. I believe my cousin has spent a lot of money to place them together and getting such golden numbers.

 

I spent about 15 minutes with them, wiping the dust off their tombs. I said a lot of things to my granny… just like the old days how we would chatted at the old house. Before I left, I gave her a kiss and promised her that I will visit her again. "Granny, I will miss you, bye."

 

  

My Lovely “Senior Citizens”

 http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf

After waiting for more than 6 months, my family of "seniors" are finally here in Shanghai! It is Uncle Benny’s 1st trip to Shanghai (and he is of Shanghai-origin). How it goes? Man, tell you, I was totally exhausted. These oldies can really shop and walk. The distance I walked yesterday is almost the same distance I walked in 1 week! I never felt so exhausted (not with Joanne, Tracy, Desmond, Bettina, Scott or Sam!) We really covered a lot in just 2 days!

A Pack of Fries

 
There was a boy who was very close with his granny. Both of his parents were working and he spent most of his childhood at his granny’s house. It was more like a childcare centre. Every morning, his dad drops him off at school. Every noon, the little boy walks to his granny’s house and spent the entire afternoon there. Every night, his parents fetches him home.
 
No one stays with the granny. She stayed in an old 3-bedroom double-storey terrace house. All alone and lonely. Regularly, she had some visitors. Her sons and daughters have moved out to start their own families. During most days, it was just the little boy and his granny. While they were 80 years apart, both of them spent countless afternoons together, filling each other’s void.
 
Both of them were waiting.
 
For the little boy, he was waiting for his parents to pick him up. That was an old house with no toys or books. He couldn’t wait to go home.
 
For the granny, she was waiting to see her son and daughter-in-law., hoping to catch some conversation with them when they were there to pick the little boy. Everyday, she will sit by the gate, watching cars and people outside her house, hoping to catch a glimpse of familiar faces. She was always there, waiting at the same spot, be it rain or shine…
 
For the little boy, this granny of him is no more than just a "Figure of Respect". To him, "granny" was a loving caretaker, a servant of his needs, a mother who nags, a historian of family stories and a teacher of his love. "Granny" was someone who stuffed coins and cash into the boy’s schoolbag (so that he has extra pocket-money to spend). It was his granny who gave him his first lesson of cooking. It was also his granny who taught him about love.
 
There was this one particular story which his granny loves to recite. It was about his granny’s happy moments with his late grandpa…back in the 40s… The boy’s late grandpa was a sea-trader and they both had a house by the sea. They spent many happy moments at the beach…digging sea-clamps in the sand and watching sunsets together.
 
Of course, the little boy won’t know much about love story at that age of 9. To him, it was the same old boring story he heard time over time. It was only after many years later when he understood the true meanings behind his granny’s tales.
 
This was pretty much of their lives until the boy turned 15. Day by day, both of granny and boy drifted apart. Like most teenagers, he would spent his afternoons roaming the malls and fast-food chains with his classmates. He no longer needs a "caretaker".
 
Old granny miss her grandson a lot. For no one really know how much she has miss him. For days when she didn’t get to see her grandson, she would ring his house number, hoping to hear his voice. It was always the same questions-and-answers routine.
 
"Boy, have you eaten?" Granny asked.
 
"Granny.. yes I have. What about you?"
 
"Yes, I have eaten too. Where are your dad and mum?" Granny asked.
 
"They are busy. Call you back later. Bye!" The boy hanged up the call.
 
Granny would call the house almost everyday without fail. Soon, everyone in the household took her calls for granted. After some time, the boy no longer wish to pick up the call. When he saw the number on the caller-ID, he would ignore the calls. For he knew that he was going thru the same Q&A again.
 
Many years passed and the boy was 19. He still visit his granny but no longer on a regualr basis. More like 2-3 times a month. Every time he arrived at his granny’s house, his granny would sit by the same spot, waiting by the gate. Whenever she saw him approaching, she would gave him the brightest smile. The boy always wondered how his granny was able to do so, sitting patiently by the gate, passing time and waiting for the next visitor. He started to feel sad for his granny. What about those fruitless days of waiting when no one comes, he wondered.
 
There was one particular visit when his granny made a strange request.
 
"What is that yellow stuff on the TV? I kept seeing it on TV…" Granny asked.
 
McDonalds was screening their TV commerical. His granny was referring to a pack of fries.
 
"Granny, that is fried potato. For kids." The boy answered.
 
"Is it nice?" Granny asked. "Can you bring me some the next time you visit?"
 
A simple yet unusual request from a 90-year old granny. The boy nodded.
 
For the next few years, the boy spent lesser and lesser time with his granny (due to his National service and school). His granny’s health worsen with time and one fateful night, she suffered a bad stroke. That year was 1999. His granny was 94 years old.
 
His granny was hospitalised and the boy was worried for her. He cares a lot about her and starts to spend more time, accompanying her by her bedside. The boy would sit by her bed at the hosiptal, almost every afternoon. Like the old days, except this time, his granny was a lot inactive and could not converse much.
 
During one of his visits, his granny asked him for that "pack of fries" which he promised to bring. He laughed, amazed by his granny’s memory. He promised his granny that he will bring her the fries the next time he visits.
 
The boy never come back with that pack of fries. The following week, he flew to Australia for a 2-month backpacking vacation. When he was there in Perth, he made regular phone calls to his granny, updating her of his life there.
 
His granny’s health improved and very soon, she went back home to stay. However, her memory was failing. Within a short span of 2 months, she lost a big chunk of her memory…even forgetting her loved ones. When the boy came back from Australia, he visited his granny immediately. That visit broke his heart so badly. Despited her healthy outlook, his beloved granny no longer remember him. She stared at him blankly like a perfect stranger. Withholding his tears, he whispered these words softly at her ears "I hope you can hear me granny, I love you so. Please tell me that you remember me…"
 
But it was too late. Her body was well, her mind wasn’t.
 
Over the the next 4 months, the boy visited his granny daily…hoping she will gain back her memory. Strangely, the only thing his granny can recalled was the love tale she used to tell him when he was young. The tale about her and his late grandpa, digging sea-clamps by the shores. It was at this moment the boy truly understand the power of love. His grandpa has died and left his granny for more than 25 years. Yet, this was the only piece of memory she kept with her till the last days of her life. She must have missed his grandpa so deeply that no one…not even death..can take that memory from her.
 
Nov 1999, his granny passed away. At her final hours, the boy withnessed the pain and sufferings his granny went through. It wasn’t a peaceful death. Her lungs collapsed and she literally suffocated to death. After many hours of struggling, she departed at the same old terrace house they both shared before.
 
His granny has met his girlfriend before her memory lapse. There was one evening when the boy and his girlfriend visited his granny. She asked who is she and the boy joked "my wife". His granny gave him the most puzzled look and laughed. She wasn’t prepared for this surprise answer. His granny replied "When you are a little older, give old granny a treat to your wedding dinner. Do not bully your girlfriend. Take care of her."
 
The boy eventually married his girlfriend ~ 3 years after the departure of his granny. The boy and his wife visited the old terrace house on the day of their wedding. At the alter, the boy broke his christian tradition holding joss stick for his granny. In his heart, he prayed "Granny, tonight is boyboy’s wedding dinner. I just wish you are here to see all this."
 
That was the last time the boy visited the old terrace house. He has kept the tale of his granny in his heart. This tale will be his classic tale. The one he will recite to his children and grandchildren for many years to come.
 
It wasn’t just a pack of fries. It is about fulfilling promises you made to your loved ones. The boy has neglected his granny for many months. Till the day she died, he never has the chance to fulfill his granny’s simple request.
 
It is never easy to live with regrets. And there are some regrets that you cannot rewind or redeem. 
 
For the "Ah Mah" I loved so deeply. The boy never forget his granny.
 

A Letter from the Police

 

Yesterday, Felicia’s mum received a "Letter of Advice" from our Singapore Police Force. Mmm.. what kind of advice leh? It seems that someone from their household made nuisance calls to 999. Of course, everyone living in the household is a suspect – that means you have Feli, Stella, Chups, Feli’s mum and Elkan. If you look at the timing, everyone should be at home (so, it is difficult to prove their innocence). Here are my prime suspects:

a) Chups – She is in her peak of puberty. I suspect she likes talking to man in "uniform". Come on, admit it!
b) Stella – She complains a lot. Maybe she decided to make an issue to the police.
c) Mum-in-law – She is forgetful. She may want to call out a mobile line but forgot that she has dialed 9 twice.
d) Felicia – She is forgetful too..thinking I have gone missing..and called the police. Dear, I didn’t come back with you to Singapore, remember?

Anyway, it is convenient to have a baby boy at home. So, all fingers pointed at his cute angelic face. Hey, it can’t be Elkan, if he is guilty, I am sure he be calling 999 more than 20 times in a row. Better check with his school, are they teaching young children how to make police call now???

I am thinking if Elkan is going to take the blame next month if Feli’s mum receives a bill of sexy chatlines.

Meanwhile, on the other side…

 

Envy, envy, envy. Life on the other side (5 hours later) was such a contrast. It was a big warm welcome surprise for Elkan and Felicia. Auntie Amy & friend, my mum, mum-in-law, sister-in-law + Meijie, Joanne, Tracy and Kalinda were all there! They even came with flowers! Man, I never know my son commanded so much presence and importance. Okay, it could be my wife’s charm too. Really, I think it is the former.

Even at the Singapore custom, Elkan managed to walk away with FREE SWEETS! (At Pudong airport, he was offered free calculator!) My boy is getting too much freebies from everyone on the street. At one toy shop in Shanghai, the shop-keeper wanted to give Elkan her pet hamster! Another shop-keeper wanted to give him his toy car! Man, he is like voodoo. Even my colleague who met him at the airport yesterday offered to get my son a PET DOG!! And guess what, he even planned of giving a mini fish tank for Elkan! 

Urghhh… what about the poor old daddy who has nothing? No consolation dinner, no pat-in-the-back calls…Never had a welcome crowd when I went home…No toys, no flower…. Mmm..maybe I should stop planning my own surprise home trip for now on.   

 

Goodbye My Baby

   

Never really feel the pain of saying bye until I stepped into the house just now. It was different – with and without you. I can still smell your wet diapers and your baby scent. Strangely, the house was also colder now. Guess you added a lot more warmth than my 3 hopeless 2000W heaters.

I don’t know how many times I have to go through this farewell-reunion ceremony with you. It is always so hard and tough to bid farewell – especially when you are getting more and more sensible now. Sorry that I have to reject your hug just now, I guessed you have figured out that it was time to say goodbye. All these while, you never like me to hold your walk whenever we were out shopping. Somehow, when you clinged on to my legs and asking me to hold your hands at the departure gate, I realised you know the reality of things. Yes, it will be at least a few more weeks or months before we meet again.

Sorry, my boy. I have to cook up a thousand lies everytime we part. "Daddy go toilet, will be back later" or "Daddy go buy you a toy car". Cos’ it is so hard to face your angelic teary eyes. I never want to break your heart too. 

Those words you yelled at the gate drove tears to my heart. "Daddy, miss you! Take care! See you!" I do not know if you understand the meanings of such emotional words… but I know you will certainly miss me and my service to you – showering you, changing your clothes, patting you to bed and smacking your butt when you misbehaved. You are just like a small adult, commanding your daddy and mummy around. Honestly, you are a very sensible boy. 

 

You left a lot of things behind. Your toys…your winter clothings and your charm. You can always walk out of a shop getting a freebie. Shopkeepers just can’t resist not to give you a gift. Be it a toy car or even a calculator.

Guess there are a lot of people waiting for your return on the other side. They are all there, planning to give you and Mummy a surprise welcome. 

I think I can sleep better tonight. No more 3am cries, leg on my face or urine on my bed. 

Of course, I have no one to open my door tomorrow morning, waving goodbye to me. Or you stamping your feet so that there will be light outside the house. 

"Daddy, take care, goodbye, see you" – that was what you say to me every morning.

Yes, I will, my son. See you soon.