Cryptex – From the Da Vinci Code

While searching for Lord of the Rings replicas on Amazon, I came upon a cool gadget from “The Da Vinci Code”. In the novel, a “Cryptex” is a solid cylindrical metal vault used to hide the secret messages of the Holy Grail. The invented name “Cryptex” comes from a combination of 2 words “cryptology” and “codex”.

This evening, I received my “Cryptex” and it came in a very beautiful wooden box (just like the one in the movie). Made of brass metal, the capsule is surprising heavy and it feels solid good in the hand. With 5 rings, each contains 26 alphabet letters, it takes more than 10-million combinations to crack the code. Once you dial the right code, the “Cryptex” springs open. (Finally, I found the right gadget to store all my darkest secrets!) Here is the riddle of the default code: “In London lies a knight A Pope interred. His labor’s fruit a Holy wrath incurred. You seek the orb that ought be on his tomb. It speaks of Rosy flesh and seeded womb.” – (Clue: “The Forbidden Fruit”)

Hello Potter

The actual spell is called “Lumos”. It illuminates the end of a magic wand to light up like a flashlight. Last week, I received my belated birthday gift from my house-mate – a Harry Potter Replicate “Illuminating Motion-Activated” Wand by Noble House. Swing the wand and the light turns on. Pretty useful in a dark room when you need a small light to read a book. Or a romantic candle-light dinner when you run out of candles. Perfect light-stick for concerts and National Day Parade. And a good light-painting tool! I was so intrigued by the bright magic light that I bought a new wand for my little wizard back home! Now, I can “Expelliarmus” him on Face Time this weekend.

Sex and Zen 3D 2011 肉蒲團 – Don’t expect 3D boobs here!

Be prepared – the most controversial soft porn is coming to town. After more than 3 months of screening, Sex & Zen 3D (肉蒲團之極樂寶鑑) has finally made its way to Singapore (July 2011)! Yes, I am very surprise it passed our censorship board with no cuts at all! But this 102-min flick will be 27-min shorter than the one screened in Hong Kong. (Be thankful, cos’ you may be spared for the unnecessary 27 minutes of “bloody” parts that may permanently scarred your healthy sexuality-state-of-mind!) A spokesperson for Golden Village Pictures, the film’s distributor in Singapore, said that they decided to bring in the film “just to add variety to what we already have at our cinemas”. I am not so sure about this remark.

Hate it or love it, this is a very successful soft porn. During its first opening weekend in Hong Kong, it was pretty difficult to get tickets to watch the movie. It wasn’t the “dirty old men” crowd – I saw many young people (both girls and boys) in the cinema. Busloads of Chinese tourists crossed the borders to watch this sensational movie. Amazingly, this movie runs continuously for 3 months and raked in more than HK40 million in ticket sales. On record, Sex & Zen 3D broke Avatar’s opening week record. It took in HK2.7 million on its first day!  (Avatar took in HKD2.5 million). Not bad for a Hong Kong production.

You find 2 extreme types of reviews in Hong Kong. Viewers either love it or hate it to the core. For some Hong Kong viewers, this is their “national pride”. Some even called it an “Art Film”. For me? I hate it. No matter how I look at this movie – it is lacking in many areas. It totally wreaked the definition of porn – it is not funny, seductive or even entertaining. In short, I thought it was sick. I still can’t figure out why the director needed the 3D.

The first 5 minutes of the movie is perfect. Beautiful arty opening screen titles, looking very promising. Then, the shocking scene of a man fondling the breasts of Goddess of Mercy statue shook me a little. It was pretty offensive and crude. Poor taste and disrespectful, I thought. The next 120 minutes were too painful or boring to watch. The sex scene wasn’t appealing or sensual. Some of the sex scenes were disgusting and sick! Poor comedy lines and 100% tasteless plots. (My gosh! The son of the original Sex & Zen Classic didn’t understand how to harness the beauty of those Jap AV starlets Saori Hara, Yukiko Suho and Hong Kong’s Vonnie Lu!) Towards the end of the movie, I thought I was watching the bloody SAW 3D.

While there is a good moral behind the story (that true love doesn’t need sex/lust), the movie’s overwhelming 3D and bloody gore scenes destroyed all its basic plot. If this is not marketed as the first 3D porn flick (with its strong cast of Japanese AV girls), it will certainly go down to the drain.

My recommendation – Watch it if you are curious. Don’t expect to get extra “sensory” or “3D boobs” from the 3D effects. If you like blood, chopped sexual organs – this is the show for you. But if you like beautiful woman and sex, don’t go for this. If you are just curious for 3D porn – skip this and surf youporn.com on your new Sony 3D TV for free entertainment. Listen to this Cantonese review below and you will understand why this movie is twisted.

Magic by Jeff Teo

Lately, Elkan has been showing us some of the magic tricks he picked up from the “Magic Box” Felicia bought in Australia. I remember we know a good friend in Hong Kong and Macau who performs great close-up card magic. Introducing Jeff Teo – check out his Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/teojeff