Lost in Translation

When man learns to walk, it gives him a new sense of confidence to roam and explore freely. Perhaps it is a sense of freedom.
 
Throughout our life journey, we choose our own path and pace. God gives man the freedom to walk but he leaves man to choose his own directions. Fate is nothing but a compass. We walk our own destiny.
 
Because we are never meant to be stationary – does it mean that we have a higher chance of getting lost? Or rather, if we are trees, rooted ourselves in the middle of a jungle, does it mean that we have found our spot and can never be lost.
 
At times, when I am given the opportunity to choose (at the cross-roads), I often felt lost and uncertain. Cos’ I am always making mental sum on which is the best direction to go. Perhaps, there is no such thing like a "best direction"?
 
I love travelling on a straight road. I dun mind the straight road being bumpy, rocky, sharp bended curves or even full of potholes.. At least, I know I have only one way ahead. Be it day or night, rain or shine, there is only one direction that I need to focus. The only thing I need to decide is my own pace.. it doesn’t matter if it is fast or slow.. I will get there anyway..
 
You see, there can never be too wrong to pick a wrong pace… However, sometimes we have to pay a heavy toll if we picked a wrong path. That is when we got confused and lost. We all know that there are some routes in life that don’t allow a U-turn. And there are cross-roads that share similar fate but contrasting destiny.
 
What do we do when we are lost? Most of us would stop walking, leave that confusing place and try to find a clearer road. And what is a clearer road? A road without cars? Or a road with lots of signs? What if we can’t find that clearer road and ended up being "more lost"? Then again, how can one be "more lost" when he is lost?
 
When you are lost, you wish to see someone familar on the same road as you. Cos’ you know that familar face is going to lead you out of the lost state of mind. The "best direction" mentality doesn’t apply here anymore. You just want to get out.
 
I am not lost… In fact, I have a clear path ahead of me.. However, I have just took a left turn and found myself standing in an interchange of fate and destiny. Sitting near the information booth, I saw a line of people feeling lost…praying for a sign. I wish I can lead them but I know whichever direction I point is going to affect a chain of events and destiny.
 
Feeling really heavy and helpless, perhaps, it is best that I get back to my own road.
Like what my creative director has said, it is good to fly with a string attached sometimes, at least you can control your high and lows. A kite without a string can never take flight. A kite with a broken string will eventually falls.
 

Visitors of my Blog

I start to believe my blog has more than 1 loyal reader – other than "Tee KoPeh" Sam.. Afterall, you can’t blame for this late faith cos’ Sam is the only one putting constructive comments on my blog. Though many can debate about the substance of his comments, Sam posted the most numbers of comments. (Followed by Tracy, Bobo and Joanne. – You see, these ladies aren’t any loyal readers – They are under my "Compulsory Reading Programme" – cos’ I will give them "Weekly Blog Comprehension Test")
 
Yesterday, I was chatting with Meijie over the phone..  I am so surprised to hear how updated he was… Unlike Sam, he was a quiet subscriber…who sneaked in silently and left silently. (Anyway, that is how quiet Meijie is…even at Hotel 25, he came, he slept and he left.) Man, I start to see how compatible Kalinda and Meijie are – they are really slient lovers!
 
Last week, Juliana left me a heart-warming note on my MSN…asking how am I doing in Shanghai. She read about my "low moody" thread and sent me her wishes. Though it was a short exchange of words.. it feels good to have someone watching over you. I was very touched by her sincerity. (Ouch! Joe, that’s mushy!).. Anyway, she just celebrated her 28th birthday last night – I can’t wait to demostrate my singing talent too – sang her a birthday song over the phone! (See photos )
 
At 930pm just now, Gareth called. Strange, I thought…cos’ I no longer order "XXX Pizza" from him anymore. Ever since he moved house and achieved his 1st "X" (I mean his Baby X lah), we hardly gather anymore. Still, he is a good old brother to the clan and a very caring one too. (Selectively to Kalinda and me only, I guess). Yah…Gareth is a little bit biased..but what to do. He like big body parts…so me and Kal kinda qualify.
 
Back to his call – Gareth just wanted to say hi and spoke the most heart-melting words – "We miss you leh". I nearly flipped off my chair! I asked him "what’s up, man?"… He answered "I just read your blog and feel like calling you lor".. Funny, I didn’t post up any XXX call girls in my blog…Anyway, I just gained another loyal reader now.
 
THE ARRIVAL OF FRIENDS (See, they are in the "Future" now!)
These 2 weeks, I have friends coming in from Singapore…and dropping by to visit me. I just met Charlie for lunch last Sat and Scott just stayed over my house last night! Tomorrow I will be meeting Desmond and Yogi. It is so great to have friends coming in and out.. makes me feel so at home.. (with all the 8days, Straits Times, etc they brought with them..haaahaaa)
 
Scott just left my house 1 hour ago.. (See photos ) Felt rather bad that I didn’t have enough time with him (as I have been really busy over the past few days). Scott was here for a business trip and he personally extended 1-2 days just to meet up with me. The time we spent together was really short (just over 2 dinners) but we did have a good heart-to-heart chat.
 
Before he took off just now, he actually gave me a lot of encouragement, asking me to stay on and keep my chin up. Felt kinda sad when we bid farewell, cos’ he is also another brotherly figure.
 
Okay..let’s not get too mushy…. Anyway… I am looking forward to meet Desmond + Yogi tomorrow..( Cos my PSP Game is with them now..) Opps.. sorry..er.. I mean I miss their presence too…
 

The Future is Here

I was watching the movie "UltraViolet" 2 nights ago. After 20 minutes into the movie, I got kinda "switch-off" – not because of the lousy story plot – but more on the futuristic settings that the movie-maker designed.
 
You see, "UltraViolet" is a movie about life in the future. You carry a handphone that can do 3D Live Conferencing, you carry weapons in Compressed 4-Dimension Space and your hair/attire changes colours as you please. It was pretty impressive…Afterall, if you are working on a futuristic movie, you should go all the way out to design and produce the future at your "wildest imagination".
 
The moment of anti-climax came when I noticed something really familiar in the movie. 40% of the action acutally took place at Shanghai Puxi – at the world famous "Pearl of the Orient" and "JinMao Tower". Dun get me wrong, I love Shanghai but I tot the movie-maker should fabricate and design their own futuristic settings – and not using popular locations that people are so familiar with. Imagine seeing Starwars being shot at our own backyard… how convincing that this is the future, huh?
 
On the other hand, I tot it is not a bad idea to be in that "future state"…so I popped over to Puxi yesterday and visited some of those scenes.. and got my pictures taken.
 
I hope this strengthen my point – "See you in the future!"

No Mood for Blog

I have tried to type in something for my blog this week.. but I just can’t get my words out. Feeling so moody and down.
 
It has been a very bad week for me. I was down at the local Shanghai hospital with a very bad fever, cough, flu and throat-infection… And coincidently, my son was admitted to (Singapore) hospital for the wrong reason. He got himeself a deep cut on his forehead and needed stitches. 
 
When Felicia called me on Wed about Elkan’s fall, I was feeling so down and desperate… Here am I, feeling so sick and lousy..and at the same time, I felt so helpless and pissed that I couldn’t be with Elkan. Things just fell apart at one go and it’s  just so damn frustrating putting them back in place.
 
Thanks to the internet and my IP phone. I felt so assured when Chups sent me those photos of Elkan. Felicia called twice to re-assure me that my son is doing well. I was at that very edge to come home immediately. Pardon my language, but really, fuck the responsibility here… my family and loved ones matter to me most.
 
Wanna to hug Elkan so much… Somehow, his fall has made me so homesick.. Thanks to Tracy, Meijie, Joanne, Duuk, Juliana & Kalinda…visiting Elkan and giving him so much love. 
 
And thanks to Yixi… your comments and jokes on my blog kinda cheer me up. 🙂
 
The toll is heavy.. I just have to endure for a while more. I am coming home soon.
 

Independence

Independence has forced me to change my old lifestyle. This is not the first time I am staying alone… When my parents moved out of my old flat back in 2000.. I had about 2 years of independence before my marriage.

 
Having a mum who takes care of everything (ironing, cooking, mopping etc) kinda spoilt me. Unknowingly, I lived like a guest, never see the little details in life…like stocking up toilet rolls, scrubbing the toilet tiles, ironing my own clothes etc. It was only when I was alone, I started to appreciate the presence of my mum.. (haaa.. not that I am a brat… but I guess I am more concerned about my studies and BGR then..)
 
Surprisingly, I had a complete change of lifestyle when I am staying alone. I become a tidier person…more systematic, cleaner &…..er….that’s about it. I dun know if I enjoy it but I do see myself stepping up doing all the chores, making sure things aren’t messy and set a discipline in me. (Oh gosh, I know my wife is going to use this reference against me in the near future)… Come on, at least I know I am not the "messy" kinda guy.
 
So, I was looking at this new "den" of mine and smiling at myself – Mm…What a clean place you have kept, Joe! Yes, I am proud… I am setting a system here… and it is working… Man, my mum and wife should come and take a look.. I am good…
 
I began to start stocking up my fridge with lots of stuffs… fruits, hotdogs, vegetables, mushrooms, milk, ice-cream, chocolate, soft-drinks, beers, Yakult, noodles, eggs…I was telling myself – it is time to move up to the 2nd level of house-keeping – be my own chef!
 
So, on Sunday, I am ready to cook a nice dinner for myself… The food is ready, the stove is working and I even bought a new blender for my "ice milk shake"… Guess what, the unbelievable happened! There is no cooking pot or frying pan in my house! Shit! Ok…relax Joe.. it is only 2 items.. so I took off to the supermarket opposit my place to get these items…
 
"Your super nice maggi mee will be ready by 1pm" I told myself that. 
 
When I came back home with the items.. I realised I missed out MORE items! Gosh…how am I going to cook without the frying fork and stiring spoon (i dun even know what are those)…. and the best joke of the day was.. WHERE IS THE F**KING COOKING OIL???
 
Before I embarked on another silly shopping trip.. I sat down, took a notebook and started listing down things… I CAN’T BELIEVE IT… I have missed out so many things – I realised my home is only 50% completed – I have no salt & pepper, soya sauce, kitchen knife, ice-cude tray, kitchen trash bags etc…!!!
 
By 3pm, I made up my mind. I can settle for a nice pack of LAYS for Sun lunch. Less washing, save money, save time… Eventually, my hunger overwrite my ego… I called Echo and Francis and asked them out for dinner. At the same time… "Er Echo, I need to buy cooking oil…can we go do grocery after dinner?" 
 
Man, I am still not independent yet.
 

Last Year, This Day – My Birthday

2 weeks ago, when I was informed by Nick that I need to fly over to Hong Kong to present a proposal to a group of "key figures".. I was worried about the outcome of the presentation. And when I was told of the date of the presentation, I was laughing to myself… It is going to be my best birthday or worst one.
 
I was warned "it is either I made it or I screwed it big time"…there is no room for in between.. One shot, 30 minutes and be back with the good news. It will be my debut and this will be a good chance for me to strike a good impression with those key stakeholders. Afterall, the first impression is vital…and I better not screw this up.
 
With all the good voodoos + blessings I gathered from Singapore and Shanghai, I arrived in Hong Kong at 10:30pm, 14th June. Working until 3am, this is indeed the most unique birthday I ever have… It was my third birthday overseas (17 in Tiomen, 27 in Perth, 31 in Hong Kong).. but it was also the quietest one. No cake and no birthday song… I was too dreadful to play that "Happy Birthday to Me" by Landy Lan.
 
I received a couple of birthday sms on my Shanghai mobile before my presentation. It is nice to know that my friends and loved ones are thinking of me.. Putting on my confidence and aggressiveness, I went in the board room and delivered that goal that I was expected to score. Yes, I scored!!
 
Was it a good birthday? Yes… a fruitful one (for work). But I miss my friends + gifts back home. Guess my friends over-did themselves last year with over supply of surprise, gifts and love! So, I guess it kinda made up for this year… (I did bought myself a birthday gift – a JBL speaker for my apartment)
 
Man, one year passed… things looked so different back then… I still can remember having Joanne, Tracy, Elkan and Felicia sleeping over in my hotel last June. Who could have guessed and predicted that I will be spending my birthday in such manner this year?  (Dinner was great..I had a very nice steak dinner at Lan Gui Fang)
 
Who knows what happen next year? Mm…where would I be next year this time? What I really want:
 
1) My friends and family here in Shanghai with me
2) Perth-Sidney backpacking with my loved ones
3) Elkan singing "Happy Birthday" to me
4) Cutting cake with a group of FHM girls in bikini at pool side
 
Well, time will tell.. Let’s see and compare the above with next year happenings.
 
Looking closer, perhaps Brazil can lift the world cup again. 🙂
 
 

Moving House, Cutting Hair

I have been away from my "blog" for exactly 2 weeks. Hardly have time for blogging.. To be honest, I have no "great tale" to share with anyone… With my official driver,  Francis and Echo back in Singapore, I left with little "kakis" to go out with.
 
Some may differ and debate with me.. Cos’ Shanghai is indeed a big paradise for both women and men. Women can shop all day.. and men can shop all night. Good news is – I am not a shopaholic…so you would not find me sitting at Xin Tian Di at night fishing for babes. Mmm…wrong analogy…it should be – You won’t find me being fished at Xin Tian Di by the sexy fishermen.
 
This could be the most exciting weekend I had since Feli’s departure. I spent the last 2 days packing and moving house…Yes, you heard me.. I am finally moving out of that 5-star cell…into a rented 2-bedroom apartment. I didn’t realised I have so much things to move….Can you imagine me making 4 taxi trips…transporting my boxes to and fro my hotel. It was a damn tiring Sat… Good thing was I secretly got the hotel bell-boy to accompany me…and I tipped him RMB$150. (Cos the mover-company charged me RMB$600!)
 
I spent the whole of Sat night, trying to connect my wireless router, my IP phone and cleaning up the place. Wow..it is still bare but I am sure ALL OF YOU are coming to warm my new place…. Will there be another Joe-Birthday Surprise Trip? (like KL 2005?) I dun know… But I can be for sure there will be none cos’ I will be in Hong Kong on my birthday – 15th (sigh…for a presentation with the client).
 
I went for my 1st hair-cut in Shanghai… I have heard a couple of "hair-cutting horror tales" from my friends here… Clearly, we foreigners do not know how to communicate with the hair-stylists. On a fair note, I must say the local hair-stylists are averagely good. But I was warned not to say common phase like "cut short" to them…cos’ it may just ended up "bota". (I have already seen 2 accidental botas …so it is not funny). Most of them advised me to go Hong Kong for my haircut.
 
Still, I took the courage and made the decision to try. Of course, not alone… My new friend, Binbin brought me to his most-trusted salon..and boy, they gave me a 5-star treatment. While waiting for my turn, I was given free massage…from head to shoulders, arms to fingers… It was really relaxing and comfortable. When it was time for the cutting…my account manager stood beside me…translating my instruction to the stylist.. I guess everyone in the shop looked at me like some freako… Guess what, after 15 minutes of cutting, I stopped the stylist and told him that it was done. He looked puzzled and told me he wasn’t done. I told him…"YES, this is exactly what I want! The 80% Armani HairCut!"
 
Phew… i survived through my first hair-cut in Shanghai without any accident.
 
Had a super fruitful Sunday… I started my day sourcing for new items for my apartment…getting ironing board, comforter, bedsheets, pillows etc.. Funny thing.. I can never find bloster over here in China. (Wonder if bloster is a Southeast Asia’s thingy?) Mmm… I can’t sleep without a bloster… maybe everyone in China has "human-bloster" to hug…mmm…
 
My new friends, Darren + Alicia invited me to his house for lunch.. Darren cooked and served me my 1st Laksa … it tasted wonderful! 95% close….What’s missing in the 5%? Haa.. I dun know.. But I love the thick laksa gravy.. Better than Katong Laksa.. 
 
We were supposed to have mahjong…but I had to return to office for work… Yes..working on Sunday.
 
At about 8-9pm…I knock off and rushed over to IKEA and spent RMB$500 there..(getting my plates, spoon, fork, dustbin, glasses, towels etc)… And then, I rushed like mad to Carrefour and bought some groceries (drinks, tibits, bread, cereal, peanut butter, electric iron etc)… Man, it is expensive to settle down like that.
 
Reached home at 11pm. Took 30 minutes to unload, make my bed (that was the hardest thing to do..I have never do up my own comforter before..and it was really tiring!)…
Wow…what a weekend… Guess I have written to much liao… gotta save it for tomorrow…
 

Kiss Goodbye


Felicia has flew back today…
Nothing spectacular like the last Changi Airport send-off…Just the 2 of us…side by side…at Pudong Airport.
 
Over the past few days, I have blocked and tried to deny reality from hitting me. I told Meijie last night that I like to forward my time ahead…not that I am looking forward, but I have no wish to lock any moments at this time. I just want to quickly settle my life and excel my agenda here. I tried not to remember the effects of a departure…I just want to get over it fast so that I can quickly be united with my family and friends again.
 
Today, Felicia painted a strange picture to me. Our family is so dispersed right now – Felicia will be in Singapore, Elkan is now in Malacca and Daddy me is now in Shanghai. Such a strange illustration, I tot. (Elkan will be back on Wed and Feli can hug our little baby all week long. 🙂
 
It is just so difficult to say goodbye. At the departure gate, we hugged and she shed tears… For about 15 minutes, Feli can’t bear to walk thru the gate. We just stood there…holding each other back…counting down the minutes and seconds. Eventually, she left.
 
Early this afternoon, I called Meijie & Kalinda to give Feli a ride. Guess she will be delighted to see Meijie at the other end of the journey.
 
When I came back to my hotel, the room that we have stayed was so empty…. Still can feel her presence around… Is Feli lazing on the bed, watching HBO?..Or is she soaking herself in the hot tub now…. I guess I am begining to miss all that now.
 
11pm – Just went down to get my dinner…or supper. Was sitting at "YongHe", waiting for my food when I heard this song playing over the radio…. The lyrics… it perfectly describe my feelings right now….
 

歌手:王力宏 | 作曲:王力宏

填詞:王力宏 | 編曲:王力宏/吳慶隆


Baby不要再哭泣 這一幕多麼熟悉

緊握著妳的手彼此都捨不得分離

每一次想開口 但不如保持安靜

給我一分鐘專心好好欣賞妳的美

 

幸福搭配悲傷 同時在我心交叉

挫折的眼淚不能測試愛的重量

付出的愛收不回 還欠妳的我不能給

別把我心也帶走去跟隨

 

*每一次和妳分開 深深地被妳打敗

 每一次放棄妳的溫柔 痛苦難以釋懷

 每一次和妳分開 每一次Kiss You Goodbye

 愛情的滋味此刻我終於最明白*


幸福搭配悲傷 同時在我心交叉

挫折的眼淚不能測試愛的重量

付出的愛收不回 還欠妳的我不能給

我才明白愛最真實的滋味

A Small World

I always wonder how American is able to identify their own country mates in a foreign land. I mean, especially in China, you see lots of "Ang Mohs" on the street. Is there any difference between an English, American, Australian and German? They are all "white skin" and coloured eyes… How is it possible to identify that "Ang Moh" is an American and the other "Ang Moh" is an Australian? Perhaps by their accents and slang.
 
Yet, I am always amazed by the power of the Singapore Identity. Consider it is really difficult to tell the difference between a Singaporean Chinese and Mainland China Chinese… We Singaporeans have distinctive accents and behaviour…From far, within 10m range, you are able to detect them.  
 
It is not that I dislike associating myself with my country mates in a foreign land. But most of the time, I am not too impressed by my first impression of them… You see, Singaporeans are a bunch of proud and arrogant metrocrates.. We displayed an distinctive atttitude… Some coined it "Ugly Singaporean"… I call it the "Uniquely Singaporeans".
 
On the streets of Shanghai…it is so easy to catch a Singaporean. Usually, they like comparing standards…For examples: "ai yo…their people so dirty one…so messy, so little trees…" or "Wah lau, China cars like to horn so much…damn noisy and rude leh!"… or "soooooo cheap! back home, this item cost more!"
 
Lately, it is getting difficult not to bump into a Singaporean…especially along Huai Hai Lu and Nanjing Lu. From sight, you can tell a few things about a Singaporean tourist:
 
1) Waist Pouch
2) Bermudas with sandals
3) Digital Cameras
4) BCG scars on their arms
5) Fancy glasses
 
Yesterday, I was dining with Felicia in a very remote dining outlet. Just when I was ordering my food, I overheard a familiar slang… I whispered to Felicia and sighed,  "Dear…got Singaporean again…on your right, sigh…Man, Singaporeans are everywhere!" (My common casual remarks)
 
Felicia looked at that man and suddenly exclaimed (with a grin on her face) "Dear…i think that singaporean is Duuk’s best man!"
 
I turned and stared at that man for 5 seconds… I called out "JOHN?" At first, he didn’t responded.. He slowly turned his head around and we looked at each other for like 2-3 seconds before he recognised me.
 
"Joe!????"
 
What a damn small world! Of all places, I met Duuk’s buddy at the most unlikely place! Of course, we traded our telephone number and news about one another… (See photo). It is just so unbelievable and unreal… Duuk told me about his friend "John" in Shanghai but Duuk has never given me his contact.
 
Man, now I am seeing Singaporean i know on a foreign soil! Are you sure there are only 4 million collectible citizens like me? (Of course, I am happy to meet a familiar face… but what’s the chances like? In 10 billion?)
 
After dinner, I made up my mind and told Feli this:
 
"Dear, maybe I am going to reconsider the option of getting a girlfriend in Shanghai… Man, it is just too risky too…cos’ China is just too small liao"
 

Somewhere Out There

(Photo Taken: Google Earth – Home is just a click away.)