The Great Walk of China – A Lonely Expat Road

May 11, 2007 6 Comments

Seeing Juli starting her new life in Beijing, it is indeed a "deja vu" for me. Exacting 365 days ago, on May 11th 2006, I left Singapore for Shanghai.
 
Life as an expat is never easy, especially when one is attached. The emotional struggle within can be so tough that even the strongest character may break down and fall. It is beyond that leap of faith. It can even change a person.
 
It took me more than 3 months to settle down. The first 4 weeks were chaotic for me. At some point, I was very dis-oriented, lost and lonely. I spent some Mondays typing on MSN to Joanne and Tracy asking them "Why the fuck I made this move?" I was so comfortable in Caffeine and I am sure I can do better. But the lure of working in Shanghai is too strong to resist. Not for the money but for the experience and learnings. I just want to explore my limitation and see how far I can go.
 
To be honest, it doesn’t take a lot before I hit my limit. All it took was Elkan’s smile. Every departure is heart-breaking cos’ I know I would miss his little touch and hugs. Not to mention about my lovely wife, caring girlfriends and brothers!
   
Have I regret taking this road? No.
My journey, despite its ups and downs, taught me a lot of things in life. Walking alone, it gave me a chance to understand myself better. I came face to face with the demons inside my heart and mind – conquering my own fears and doubts. And finding the love of my life. It made me realised who are the most important people in my life. 

In short, this road has made me a better and stronger person. 
 

Dun get me wrong, I wasn’t talking about taking "an expat road". It was about taking a personal journey which one made to discover more about himself. It is not about "where or how"…but more of "what" came out of that journey.
 

 

p/s (For Juliana and Duuk –  Enjoy this journey – May you two discover new things in your life.)

Filed under Wahbiang

Fulfilling a Promise

May 10, 2007 Leave a comment

   

Today, I finally find the time and visited my granny’s tomb – after 8 long years. Wanted to bring Feli and Elkan along but they weren’t available. Really want to fulfill that small promise which I made more than 15 years ago.

When I entered Bright Hill Temple, I was feeling very excited. Holding the pack of fries in my hand, I searched around for her tomb. That temple has changed so much since the last time I was there (28th Nov 1999 – the day my granny was cremantled). There are a lot of new buildings now and the place is more beautiful and cleaner.

My granny sits on the 5th Floor, Tomb 0998 (nice number I thought). Beside her is her beloved husband, my grandpa, sitting on 0999 Tomb. And Tomb 1000 is my great grandma. I am surprised to see all 3 of them together. They were placed seperately previously. I believe my cousin has spent a lot of money to place them together and getting such golden numbers.

 

I spent about 15 minutes with them, wiping the dust off their tombs. I said a lot of things to my granny… just like the old days how we would chatted at the old house. Before I left, I gave her a kiss and promised her that I will visit her again. "Granny, I will miss you, bye."

 

  

Filed under Family

A Preventable End – The May Leong Story

May 9, 2007 Leave a comment

This is May Leong. A white-collar worker. Died of work-stress, long hours working.
For a mere $2,500/month.
 
Read her last words: http://pinkmayflower.multiply.com/journal/item/140
It is sad. Really. She was young and cheerful. And full of dreams and hopes!
People die everyday. What makes one’s death more notable than the other? It is the struggle, hardship and sacrifice one made at the final moments of his/her life. To be honest, it is happening everyday. Look around you, the concept of living isn’t as free as you think. Often, you are given tough choices in order to advance in your life. But what choices have you made so far?
 
It is a cruel social structure that dictates your life journey. It is a set of rules that you have to play; if not, you are out of the game. There is nothing fantastic about the American’s reality show "Survivor" when we are living by that very same competitive spirit – outplay, outlast; if not, you may be an outcast. We are dealing with so many personalities in this world, but there seems to be just 1 standard set of rules to play. It is a common city illness, a social culture and stereo-types still survive in this State.
 
Can you afford to take a break not worrying about your life later? Can you afford to make a choice that you enjoy most? Can you tell MOE that you wish to stay in the science stream despite your poor academic performance in science? Would you dare to quit a handsome-paid job and persue your dream…Tsk, tsk, very blue-sky, not down-to-earth, many would say.
 
Very often, you are given very little time to prove your worth. You are pressured by time, competition, peer-pressure, social-demands to perform and excel.  
 
What is a good environment? It is a State of Mind where you break free from those social cliche, chains, M-Prison and social-pressure. Give yourself a chance to live freely. Other sceptics will say it is very difficult – how to survive and take a break when you have little savings, high bills to maintain? Question is, why got yourself lock in a situation? Is it HDB, credit companies, the telecos or your car-loans? How many other contracts you have on hand that lock you tight?
 
Call me a naive thinker, but I do believe my money should work hard for me and not vice versa. Enjoy to the max of what you can earn. And not earn to the max of what you want to enjoy. If the job here is cruel and demanding, look outside this tiny island. With our professionalism and qualification, you can find a decent job anywhere. Question is: Will you be happier?
 
Is Failure that important? The fear of failure forces our mind and body to push through our limitations – at times, at the expense of our family and even our own life. Heed the grand old classic advice from Spider-Man 3 – "You can make the choice of your own". And it is okay to fail.

See, Singapore isn’t bragging any more about being 1st in Airport, Airline and whatever crap? Why? Cause we have been taken-over by other nations. Does losing that Number 1 Spot hurt our nation’s pride? No. We can always do better elsewhere.

 
May Leong wasn’t that one exception case for us to reflect a lot of things in our life. She just set it in a perspective that "shock" you off your chair and let you ponder about the extreme end. It is a preventable end but question is, how many of us are able to "walk out" bravely without the worry of how others look at us? Will we be seen as losers, quitters or freedom-fighter? Maybe our teachers and parents should reflect the kind of teaching we have for our next generation.

My mum gave me the best advice ever: "I don’t expect you to be first or top in anything. Just out-better yourself constantly." Since 9, I have been improving myself gradually, out-perform my own-self. Running my own race. Yes, you may say I am running at my own pace. But given the freedom and encouragement to run, I look around me, who care about the losers behind me or the winners ahead of me. The only person who care most – could be me myself. It is all about self-comparision to feel good and right. Humans need such comparision to win back ego, confidence and social security. To be honest, who cares!

 
Her death sparked off a nation-wide outcry. Just like the boy who committed sucide over PSLE. Or the mother who died of fever just because she wanted to save $20 for her son. Or the taxi-driver who juggled 3 jobs per day to see his son to university.
 
It is just news. And very soon, we forgot about it. New sad tales will fill our void of concern.
 
Have you done something to change your life or encourage someone to make that choice?
 
Remember. May Leong’s death is preventable. It is the choices you made or help made.

Filed under Jo's Thoughts

Makeover Room

May 9, 2007 Leave a comment

Recently, I decided to play "Reality TV – Makeover" and helped a friend to overhaul her messy 20-year-old bedroom. She is working too hard and has no time or heart to change her space. We were discussing about it last week, and on impulse, the makeover is done and completed in just 10 hours! The result? Not bad. (Still in WIP, but the final piece will be nice!)

Filed under Wahbiang

My May Golden Week (1st – 20th May 2007)

May 6, 2007 Leave a comment

Just exactly 1 week ago, I bid farewell to my old daddy and mummy in Shanghai. Leaving my Shanghai house to Diane (my ex-TP friend), I flew back to Singapore once again! It will be a long stay this round (3 weeks of vacation-cum-work).

 
As usual, I rushed home to meet all my kakis – and just in time for Juli’s last supper. She flew off on 1st May with Duuk, starting her new life in Beijing. (Sigh, 1 more Singaporean working in China). Just chatted with Juli online…she is having "Expat Blues" – the same shit I felt last year. She is now feeling moody and sad… self-questioning her move to Beijing. I hope she get used to her new life smoothly… if not, Shanghai Jojo Clinic is only 1-hour away! (Girl, it is worth it! Trust me!)

 
 

Met a couple of buddies too (Scott, Gareth, Meijie, Joanne, Kalinda)…and bumped into Nadirah at Suntec. (Wow, marriage life shaped her..she looks more modern and pretty now!). "Scott Ass" got himself a new job and a nice office at Suntec! Envy, envy ~ he is certainly enjoying a hi-flier life now! (Look at his office! Nice view outside, still as messy inside!)

I also dropped by my company, Caffeine and just in time to wish old Richard "Happy Birthday" (I bought him a cake but he eyed my fancy ESPIRIT Umbrella! Yes, I gave it to him). Guess what, Randy and me chatted only for 2 minutes. He got me to do a strange task – changing the ceiling light bulb!!! Tracy is still coughing…Joanne still as cranky.

 
Yes, I have 1 good week of fun and making new discoveries. The big ferris-wheel @ Marina is 90% completed. Century Square got a new pink coat of paint. Tried the new "New York, New York" at CityLink. Watched Spider-Man 3 at Plaza Singapura. Visited the new Ikea Tampines. I had an 1-to-1 dinner with my little boy – we chatted for 1 hour! Karaoke till 3am @ KBox! Plus a weekend getaway with my boy and Bobo at Batam Island. Finally, a nice steamboat Sunday dinner with my parents at Auntie Amy’s house (I had durians for desserts!).
 
Wow, that was quite a lot of activities (in just 1 week!). Enough recharge, got to work tomorrow – preparing my Hong Kong trip this Wednesday.

       

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Piracy Disclaimer

April 22, 2007 Leave a comment

 

It is a poster that says "Don’t Buy Fake Stuffs". And guess where I found this poster?
In a complex (100 over stores) selling fake Nike, Gucci etc. A smart disclaimer indeed.

Filed under Life in Shanghai

Freedom comes with a Price

April 22, 2007 Leave a comment

 
There is this bridge at Zhu Jia Jiao where you can buy fishes at RMB20/fish to free them. While the intention is good, but I think it doesn’t make sense at all!

Question 1: Why are they caught in the 1st place?
Question 2: The bridge is at least 5m tall. Throwing the fish off this height will kill them.
Question 3: Those are "gold-fishes" which 100% cannot survive in that polluted river.
Question 4: Does it mean that the more fishes we freed, the more the local will catch to sell us?

Filed under Life in Shanghai

Budget FastFood

April 22, 2007 Leave a comment

 
We went to one restaurant (near Zhu Jia Jiao) serving Super-Fast-Budget food. Just add water, 5 minutes, RMB20. Clean and safe. No, we didn’t eat there. 

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Festive Car Plate

April 22, 2007 Leave a comment

(Photo Taken: Road on Shanghai – I am sure there are more "human-rights" here than back home. We play guns, eat chewing gum, fireworks and even fix up your own festive car plate! The only bad thing is you don’t get to see the "lucky number" for your 4D.)

Filed under Life in Shanghai

My Lovely “Senior Citizens”

April 22, 2007 Leave a comment

 http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf

After waiting for more than 6 months, my family of "seniors" are finally here in Shanghai! It is Uncle Benny’s 1st trip to Shanghai (and he is of Shanghai-origin). How it goes? Man, tell you, I was totally exhausted. These oldies can really shop and walk. The distance I walked yesterday is almost the same distance I walked in 1 week! I never felt so exhausted (not with Joanne, Tracy, Desmond, Bettina, Scott or Sam!) We really covered a lot in just 2 days!

Filed under Family

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