June 2, 2012 1 Comment
It is a dark weekend for all of us. Yesterday afternoon, I received a bad news from my cousin, Leon. My granny in Muar fell into a coma and is dying. She was in perfect health when my families gathered in Bintan last year. She has always been cheerful, bubbly, and energetic.
To keep our families from worrying, my mum kept my granny’s illness a secret. She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a while ago. My mum, aunties and uncles didn’t want her to occupy too much thoughts about her health. Depression and negativeness would make worse for her illness. Thus, they tried all ways to keep her spirits high and happy. Somehow, this formula worked. For a long while, my granny was in high spirits until recently, the cancer cells prevailed and took over her frail body. She eventually collapsed into a coma yesterday.
I called my mum yesterday and she told me to be strong and happy. “There is nothing to be sad about. Don’t worry about granny. It is her time for her to move on. She has had a great life and she wants us to be happy too. We should celebrate her passing instead of grieve.” My mum reminded me how short life is and we should live a great life like my granny. She has been a tough lady, bringing up 9 children all by herself. She is blessed with 17 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren. Her words and strength moved me to tears. Trying hard to hold my sadness and tears, I couldn’t find my voice to answer her. My mum almost couldn’t hear me further, as I was choking in tears. Thinking the line went off, she hanged up the call.
It was an unbearable night. I couldn’t sleep well, kept thinking of my granny. I was browsing all the old photographs of my granny the whole night. Just realised I didn’t have a lot of photos of her. She visited us in Hong Kong 2 years ago. And that was the last time we met and chatted. Every time we meet, she will always remind me to live life fruitfully.. stay healthy and be happy. (And I did – all these years – trying to balance my life, keep them colorful for my family and loved ones.) Sadly, these farewell shots at the Hong Kong Airport Express are the last I took of her.
Granny, no matter how bad and uncertain life can be, I will live positively, strongly and happily like you did. I miss you so much.